The New York Times, now, I know the New York Times has always been liberal, but at least they used to strive for a certain level of respectability. The entire left has gone positively batshit crazy over this whole war thing.

Lovitz never left, right? I don't see him doing bear-sodomy acts. I'm starting to think it was a mistake to leave Saturday Night Live. They just told me, Go on out there, knock them dead, don't be afraid to be politically incorrect.Īnd by the way, you're about to have an eighteen-inch injection of furry bear-hog up your ass while you're doing your jokes. I don't know how this booking came to be, to be honest here.

That bear is about to ride me harder than John Kerry rides his Purple Hearts. I've got a 1600 pound Kodiak bear directly behind me. When we turn back, we look almost nothing like Dennis Miller - no impressionists ever look like the guy they're doing when they do that hack turn-away-then-turn-back move - but you can at least see what we're going for with the hair-mussing thing.Īnd we've got a 1600-pound Kodiak bear behind us, massive claws locked around our slender hips. We now turn away from the audience and muss with our hair. That preamble out of the way, we now commence with our on-line impersonation of Dennis Miller being sodomized by a 1600-pound Kodiak bear while doing his nightclub act. That's just the way it is, and there's no point arguing about it. And because of that, we can sort of imitate him. He's probably one of the top three or four guys in the universe that shaped our own comic sensibilities. We even loved him when we sort of hated him, if you know what we mean. (Shocker: Rich celebrity is able to score in Hollywood. Oh, and we're guessing he probably brags a bunch about how much pussy he gets. If I were a towering five-foot-one like Paul Krugman, I'd probably already have my own sitcom.' This guy looks at Paul Krugman and thinks, 'Oh, sure, anyone could be a big-time Princeton economist at that height. We imagine it involves a lot of whining about his diminutive height. So we don't know what his schtick is, really. Plus, we haven't watched Bill Maher since he guest-starred as Hipster #3 on a 1976 episode of Chico and the Man. We tried to do Bill Maher, but he's just not funny, so an accurate impression would likewise be not-funny, and therefore painful to read. The answer is, Because we only can do Dennis Miller. Now, you are probably objecting: But why put Dennis Miller in that situation? Surely he's one of the good guys? Why not do an on-line impression of, say, vile midget Bill Maher being sodomized by a 1600 pound Kodiak bear while doing his nightclub act? We do an impression of right-leaning comedian Dennis Miller being sodomized by 1600 pound Kodiak bear while doing his nightclub act. We do, in fact, do one on-line impersonation of a famous celebrity in a highly unusual and very comical situation.Īnd, finally, for the record: We're about to do it for you.

And his centaur buddy Rell.īut the question we get asked the most is: Do you, Ace of Spades, do any on-line impersonations of famous celebrities in highly unusual and very comical situations?įor the record: The answer is yes. Peter Yates' meditation on an ultrasonic, heat-seeking, magical flying blade-disk. We get asked about our favorite science-fiction or fantasy movie.įor the record: We claim the answer is Blade Runner, Ridley Scott's gorgeously melancholy meditation on the nature of humanity.īut the real answer, of course, is Krull. January 1971, Khe Sahn: We earned our first Silver Stars. We get asked about our previous military experience.įor the record: We served two tours in Vietnam, although we were technically too young to join the army at the time so we lied about our age. We get asked a lot of questions here at Ace of Spades.įor the record: We officially define ourselves as being 'swingles.' But don't tell the wives. FloridaCracker (New Address!!! New Design!!!)

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